Episode 33: An Empty Pina Colada Coconut or Bread?

And now the opening argument transcript from the case of “Bob Marley v. The District of Home Town U.S.A.”

(cont.)

The Defense rises to give opening arguments.

THE DEFENSE: Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury I am not here to dissuade you from the facts of this case. My client did indeed shoot Sheriff John Brown, however, the facts will show that my client, Bob Marley, did this in self defense and unlike what the prosecutions would lead you to believe, he did not in fact shoot the deputy. And any further accusations therein are in fact irrelevant to this case. Your Honor, I would like to call my first witness.

…Thank you